Codrabbllective
by Lala to the power of 2
Summary: Series of largely unrelated oneshots based off tumblr prompts
1. Chapter 1

It was the first time Keith and Lance had ever trained together informally and Keith has the slowly dawning realization that this might have been a bad idea. It had never occurred to Keith that Lance might wear, or even own, a tank top. Not that it didn't make sense - Keith himself had left his own jacket in his room without bothering to bring it down to the training deck, and Lance had apparently had a similar vein of thought and left his entire shirt behind, because hey, wasn't working out what tank tops were like, actually for?

Keith didn't know. He also didn't know why he was over analyzing it. Oh, except that he did, and it was because Keith was gay and there was too much gorgeous bronze skin on display not to be terminally distracted by because Keith was thirsty and pathetic. In his defense, Keith hadn't even known Lance was CAPABLE of being… this kind of distracting. Sure, he had a handsome face and a nice laugh or whatever, but he was also made up entirely of scarecrow limbs too skinny to have any sex appeal whatsoever, right?

Nope. Not right. Wrong wrong wrong, Keith had been so wrong. Lance's body may have been lean and slender instead of displaying the thick bulk one usually associated with a muscular frame, but by no means could he qualify as scrawny. There was power in those arms, sinewy defined muscle rippling obviously under his soft tan skin, every slight movement as they fought highlighting the graceful strength normally hidden under tacky-but-probably-comfortable coat.

And his _back_. Like, holy shit those were some nice back muscles. Lance's shoulders were surprisingly broad and every time Keith got behind him instead of taking advantage of it to attack, he'd find himself instead staring at the flex of muscles in between his shoulderblades, thoughts lost in a tangle of fantasies of his own fingers scratching red lines into the flesh of Lance's back while he was fucked and jesus christ there might even be enough strength in his prowling muscles to be able to pick Keith up and fuck him against the wall right here in the training deck -

Keith was blindsided by a kick to his stomach, and by the time he could suck the wind back into his lungs he was pinned to the floor on his back, Lance hovering inches above him and close enough to see the sweat rolling down his face as he panted.

"Got you," he declared excitedly, before his face twisted into something mildly concerned. "Uh, not that I didn't deserve the win for being amazing and all, but are you okay? You seem a little… Out of it."

He still hadn't sat up off of Keith and holy shit did Lance ever smell good when he was all worn out and sweaty like this. Before he knew it was going to happen, Keith opened his mouth and the horrendous words that fell out came in the form of a pathetic gasp, "Fuck me like the slut I am."

Lance blinked, jaw dropping. "P-pardon?!"

Oh shit that wasn't good. Keith sat up quickly, shoving Lance's face out of his way as he stood up and scoffed in the steadiest voice he could, "I said 'fuck me, I'll have to try again.' I was cursing myself for zoning out; come on and get back to the fight."

"R-right," Lance said, rubbing at the back of his neck. "Yeah, that makes a lot more sense than what I thought I heard."

"I can't even imagine," Keith lied, making sure he still wasn't facing Lance until he was sure that he wasn't so furiously red anymore.

"Yeah, you probably don't want to," Lance laughed, scrambling back to his own feet. "You guys might be right about me having way too filthy of a mind. Guess you can't turn off the perv."

That was an understatement Keith could relate to.


	2. Chapter 2

"Out of all of the holidays, it's actually Christmas that's most universally celebrated on Earth," Hunk explained. "Which is pretty funny considering technically it's a religious holiday for a fairly region-based religion. But when Christianity spread so did its major holiday, and when the um. Crusades or whatever were over and people went back to a lot of their old religions they kept celebrating Christmas as a holiday anyway just for, you know. Fun. Like, 'the rest of your religion and culture sucks but we're keeping Santa Claus.'"

Allura's eyebrows drew down in confusion, and Hunk instantly realized his mistake before she even had to ask, "'Sandy Claws?'"

"Santa," Hunk chuckled awkwardly, "It's a name. A sort of mythological figure that we all tell kids about, saying he lives at the North Pole where it's too cold for humans to live."

That should be a concept all planets had and he shouldn't need to explain, right? It was like… Axis stuff. She didn't look confused, so he must be safe.

"And that one night a year, he flies around the whole planet on a magic sleigh pulled by a herd of hooved animals that don't normally fly and slips into the house of every child to leave presents for them under a tree we set up in the middle of the house. He gets in through the chimney, which is a vent houses used to have so you could light a fire inside and let the smoke outside, and has to stop time to get to everyone in one night, and you're supposed to leave out milk and cookies for him to eat as a thank you for his hard work."

This, Hunk realized, sounded absolutely insane out loud, didn't it? Wow. Humans were actually pretty weird when he really stopped to think about it.

"And um, he knows which houses have kids and which don't because he's supposed to be some kind of omnipotent entity and knows all about the kids of earth and who's been naughty and who's been good because he only gives the good kids presents and the bad kids get coal. Or kidnapped by a Krampus demon, depending on where you live."

Allura's jaw was hanging open in baffled alarm, which Hunk could frankly understand.

"So you invented demigod who breaks into the houses of children with rocks and then tell lies to your children about him to manipulate them into good behavior?"

Yes. Yes exactly, in fact.

"Well," Hunk defended, "it's really ,more for fun than the… manipulation part. Kids love Santa."

"I see," Allura said dubiously, "And _this_ is the most widely celebrated tradition on your entire planet."

Oh shit, how the hell had Hunk managed to ruin Christmas? Christmas was supposed to be impossible to ruin! He wasn't doing this right, damn it.

"No, it's… It's not really about Santa. He just represents the spirit of the season. Christmas is really about the tradition where, young or old, everyone gives gifts to each other on that day. We just use Santa as an excuse to give kids extra presents, from mom and dad and one from 'Santa.' Since, you know, otherwise we usually just do one present each for everyone we know because... That's a lot of presents, you give presents to anyone you're close with, including friends and coworkers you talk to often enough, basically."

She blinked, shoulders relaxing.

"Oh, that makes more sense. The lie is… for fun, then. Of course this Krismass might perpetuate so that one day a year, one receives physical affirmation of their relationship status with a person."

That… was closer? Nope, still failing at Christmas.

"Yes and no. For kids it's all about getting presents, yeah, but the thing that makes Christmas really great is giving them. There's this… satisfaction you get when you know you got someone the perfect gift, when you're just as excited to see the person you love open the gift you got for them because you wanna see how happy it made them, you know? THAT'S what Christmas is actually about. We need to remember that feeling when we get too cynical, so Christmas is about remembering that human beings are capable of caring about more than just themselves. It's about being close to each other. The presents aren't about the physical item, it's a way to show that you're thinking of them and you care about them. We use it as a day to remember to be kind to others and give to people we don't even know, just because they're more in need than we are." Holy shit did Hunk finally nail this? He felt like he nailed this. "But that concept is kind of hard to put into words so we use the omniscient gift wizard."

"I… I know that feeling," Allura said slowly, sounding awed enough for Hunk to feel like he'd probably succeeded in explaining Christmas. "Of course we give presents to each other on Altea too but it's nothing ceremonial. To imagine, an entire holiday created around just that feeling, that simple joy of giving… It's truly beautiful."

Something warm and happy bloomed in Hunk's chest like a baked potato, and he grinned at her.

"Yup, and that's why Christmas is my favorite holiday. Also tons and tons of cookies."

Allura laughed, light and easy, and way too pretty.

"Well of course, it's all about the sweets, isn't it?"

"Oho, you want sweets," Hunk laughed, "then you gotta talk Halloween. This one's Lance's favorite holiday."

"Oh, then this should be _quite_ interesting." Allura's arched eyebrows told their own story.

"Oh man, if you think Christmas is weird, you're gonna LOVE this," Hunk agreed jovially, trying to think of how to start with this one.

"Okay, so Halloween is the day we all dress up in costumes and play pranks on each other. Little kids go door to door around the neighborhood dressed up like cartoon characters, animals, and monsters, like ghosts and stuff, and every house gives them a little bit of candy, and if they don't have any candy, the kids will throw eggs at their house. A good day to pull pranks and try to scare each other."

Long elegant fingers steepled together, and Allura had a look of intense concentration.

"The pranks I believe I can understand, but… Costumes?"

"Uh," Now that he had gotten this far, Hunk realized he in fact, had no explanation for the costumes. Did anyone actually remember what that was about? "Well the story everybody knows is that the holiday used to be a harvest festival, and legend says that people would wear masks as disguises to hide themselves from the evil spirits because it's the most supernatural night of the year. But the thing is, we know that part isn't true and in the old days no one wore costumes and it's only a recent thing, but no one seems to remember or carre why? It's… Humans just like playing dress-up," he shrugged. "But really, the costumes are the best part! The adults dress up in costumes too, and go to parties and sometimes have costume contests to see who's costume is the best or coolest, and there's a lot of drinking and making out like most parties except it's like, a yearly holiday."

"So, it's a festival of revelry?"

Hunks face twisted, and he knew he'd lost her again, but also he wasn't sure how to explain the basic concept of haunted houses.

"Yes and no? I missed the biggest point again. The kids go door to door and the adults go to parties but not everyone bothers going out - most of us just watch horror movies at home. That's kind of what the pranks are about, the spirit of scaring the crap out of each other and ourselves. We even have haunted houses and hayrides where we set up a bunch of scary stuff and go through just for the adrenaline rush. The costumes are usually of monsters, too. It's celebrating, yeah, but it's more like… celebrating our fear?"

Allura frowned, looking confused but interested.

"A festival to celebrate fear... where you send your children to strange houses for food?"

"It's not a perfect system."

Hunk coughed. Crap, he'd never been forced to deeply analyze holidays like this before, maybe he should have tried sticking to TV shows.

"I think it's because like, we evolved past the point where we need to really be afraid of anything, so we have to go out of our way to do it to ourselves." In a culture like Altea which was supposed to have nearly constantly been at war… might not be a relatable issue. "So we have Halloween and horror movies to scare ourselves."

"I'm just having a little trouble connecting being afraid with 'fun' is all," she said dubiously, fluffing a lock of silver hair over her shoulder absently. "You're celebrating… your conquest over that which would have formerly eaten you?"

"More like the opposite," Hunk tried. "We're reminding ourselves that we're not better than it, that there are still things we have to be afraid of even with our suburbs and houses and hospitals."

Allura made a silent 'o' with her lips, eyes bright with understanding.

"So humans use holidays as a reminder to not to forget about feelings that a self-absorbed world of commerce might lose like gratitude?"

He wanted to deny that with the assertion that no, humans just like excuses to party, until he remembered Thanksgiving was a thing and figured she might be onto something.

"I guess so," he agreed dubiously, "but the thing with Halloween is: half the fun is scaring other people. There's a certain amount of schadenfreude involved; that's why, aside from thrillers, we also watch slasher flicks where we just watch people get violently eviscerated for two hours." He paused, realizing once again how bad that sounded. "Well that might have more to do with our suppressed murderous hunting instincts and less schadenfreude."

"'Shadenfroida?'" Allura questioned, which made sense considering even English didn't have a word for it.

"It's like um. That sick little pleasure one gets out of seeing others suffer, I guess?"

"Oh!" Allura leaned forward, grinning. "I understand that concept!" She declared eagerly. "We have something like that too, your Halloween is like the Festival of Haarsvark!" With a nostalgic smile, she went on to swoon: "All the children in town gather together in the yurba fields, and they select one to be the onos monster. It's the onos monster's job to try and run and hide while all the other children chase him down and pelt him with rocks. Oh, how we all laughed and laughed…"

"Uhhhm, yes, that sounds... " like Shirley Jackson's The Lottery, "...about the same idea, yeah." Like he had any place to judge considering his explanation of Christmas. "I mean, sounds like schadenfreude to me anyway."

"Well, it seems like our cultures have more in common than it looks at a glance," Allura decided cheerfully. And then her face fell, frowning contemplatively as she added, "Of course, it would be nice if what we had in common wasn't a shared amusement in the suffering of others."

"Well, it's not like that's the only thing we have alike, right?" Hunk smiled, bumping his shoulder against Allura's softly. "And besides, because we do both have schadenfreude, that means we can all enjoy it together whenever Lance makes a fool out of himself trying to impress Keith."

Allura laughed, soft and light and adorable. "Thank goodness for that; if we didn't laugh it would just have gotten sad after the first time."


	3. Chapter 3

"Come on, bicho, you can do it! Walk to Papi so I can give you lots of love and kisses!"

Lance crooned in a voice that he recognized was far higher in pitch than necessary but couldn't seem to stop regardless. On the floor a few feet away from him, his daughter blinked at Lance with the curious wide eyes of a one-year old from in between Coran's crouched legs, where he was gently helping her stand by holding her tiny hands in his. Lance waved his own hands, beckoning, shuffling forward a few inches where he was sitting on the floor himself to try to convince her to step forward away from Coran and into Lance's arms. She tilted her head a bit, wobbled unsteadily on her little bare feet, and then made no other moves whatsoever.

"Perhaps she needs a bit more motivation?" Coran offered helpfully.

Lance could quite resist the urge to flail dramatically. "I'm her DAD! What more motivation could she need than the embrace of my loving arms?!"

Coran looked down at her, distracted for a moment by the wiggling of tiny fingers against his palm.

"Well yes, but she does already see you every day. You need to create the WILL to come to you! She can't miss you when you're already around, eh?"

Lance narrowed his eyes, considering that for a moment. Rubbed at his chin. Noticed that he'd grown a nearly a full beard again and needed to shave soon. The will to come to him, eh…. He nodded to himself, a plan having formulated in his mind, because he was a brilliant genius and always got an idea eventually. And then proceeded to break out into a fit of stiff coughs, clutching dramatically at his chest and crying out:

"Oh god, no! The pain!"

Coran looked briefly concerned, seemingly about how Lance might have gone out of his mind rather than anything physiological from the look on Coran's face. That didn't matter though, because Lance could see through one cracked-open eye that his daughter had stiffened in alarm. Perfect.

He flung himself backwards to land on his side, secretly pleased at the little concerned whine he heard chirp from her throat. Flailing around a little more to make sure her eyes were still on him as he despaired:

"I'm dying! My soul is departing my body! If only I could see my daughter one last time, hold mi solete in my arms on more TIME!"

Lance could see her concerned little face, watched her teeter unstably on her footing as she pried her hands free from Coran's loose grasp to lean forward towards him.

"Oho!" Coran oohed in delighted surprise. "Looks like you got her!"

It took all the power in Lance's body not to bolt upright, but he didn't want to break whatever spell he'd managed and stayed, prostrate on the floor, as he watched her take her first hesitant step forward away from Coran. His heart pounded louder than the sound of her feet, and Lance had never been so excited about anything in his LIFE except like, maybe her birth or when they'd found out they were pregnant, or the wedding, but this was still pretty good! Like, WAY up there!

When she saw that her foot had accepted her body weight his daughter's face changed, another brief cooing sound escaping as she set her mouth into a tiny determined line that she had definitely and absolutely inherited from Keith, instantly recognizable even when she'd gotten Lance's eyes. Then her other foot stepped forward and then her left again, and then she was - well she was just taking OFF, actually. HA! What a prodigy! His daughter wasn't just walking, she was practically running to him!

Except that actually, she was going like, REALLY fast, really absurdly fast, and in fact tottering… straight past Lance?! He sat up quickly, only able to twist around in confusion as she scuttled towards the open doorway behind Lance a few more feet before her baby legs gave out under her chubbiness and she fell flat into the floor.

Lance and Coran both jolted, instinctively about to dive for her so make sure she was okay, when they realized it wasn't crying they could hear but for some reason laughter; the spill apparently proving so amusing to the girl that she couldn't contain her giggles long enough to sit back upright off of her face. And just as Lance was crawling over to get to her, the doorway revealed the source of the confusion when Keith's shapely thicc legs strutted into view.

Oh, Lance realized as he watched Keith bend down to scoop their daughter off the floor and into his arms with an amused smile. She had not been running to him, she had been running to her mom. That… was fair, he guessed, flopping to sit with one elbow propped up on his knee in a manner that was not sulky at all.

Coran poured salt in the wound with a cheerful chirp of his own, slapping his thigh and declaring, "Well, isn't she a wild little tribble! Skipped straight over walking and into a run, didn't you, cutie?"

"Of course she did," Keith laughed, and okay maybe it was fine that she had way more interest in running to Keith than walking to Lance, because his husband was currently slinging their baby daughter over his hip casually to look her in the face with that perfect warm smile that made Lance melt into a puddle of pathetic lovesick goo. "'Cause you got things to do and places to be, don't you, monster?"

"She is a little monster," Lance agreed as he stood up, unable to keep a smile from his own face because his husband and baby were smiling at each other and that was literally the best thing Lance could ever hope to see in his entire existence. "Kids aren't supposed to do that, you know. There's an actual idiom stating that you need to walk before you can run."

"Well that's just ridiculous," Keith dismissed loftily. "How are you supposed to get any momentum going that way?"

A laugh erupted from Lance. "That's what the walking's supposed to be for, stupid!"

Keith didn't acknowledge the insult, still looking at the baby supported easily in one arm, who, now satisfied with her place in her mother's loving arms, flopped around to search out Lance, reaching out with one stubby arm towards him with a grabby motion of her tiny purple-spotted fingers when her eyes found him. God, she was just so _cute_! Lance was gonna die. He was gonna die and his grave would say 'Lived An Awesome Life', (subnote 'Universe's Best Father, Space Hero, Married to Hot Alien Babe' in smaller lettering underneath to prove the above statement was true.)

And then, something happened. A miracle, maybe? A gift to Lance for all the sacrifices he's made to raise a family to perfect awesomeness in times of this cruel and heartless war. Out of his baby daughter's mouth, small and squeaky and barely recognizable as speech as his precious little bolita beseeched, "Pa pa!"

It was a sound akin to the cry of angels… his daughter's voice, the very first words out of her mouth, and they were for _him_!

"Uh, Lance?" Keith asked worriedly, one thick black eyebrow raised in polite concern. "Are you… crying?"

"I just -" Lance sobbed, wiping at his face with his forearm to swipe any tears Keith was totally wrong about away. " _I'm just so happy!_ "

Keith's expression softened into one of his famous 'You're weird but I love you anyway' smiles, and nothing in the universe could ruin this moment.

Not even later on that night when Hunk told him that her first word had actually been two days ago, and it had been 'up' in an apparent request for Shiro not to put her down in her crib, because whatever screw you Shiro, Lance was still taking this.


	4. Chapter 4

For all that Coran assured them that the pollen only had adverse effects on Galra and they had nothing to worry about, Lance was getting the feeling that this was going to be more of a problem than he'd let on. Namely, the part where Keith was attempting to climb all over his lap and mouth at his neck. That was a little… out of the norm.

"C'mon, Lance," Keith purred, even as Lance attempted to shove him off and over the side of the couch Lance wasn't occupying. It didn't work much; Keith was still half-straddling one thigh and draping the rest of himself over Lance's shoulder to lick into his ear.

"We both know you wanna, why are you acting like you wouldn't just _loooove_ to fuck me? Spread me out right here in the lounge, maybe bend my ass over the arm of this couch, tongue me open til I'm loose enough for your cock~?"

Lance shuddered from his brain to his toes, swallowing a thick lump of nothing and, valiantly and chivalrously, trying to pry Keith's hand away from wandering up the back of his shirt and not really succeeding.

"I- I mean I'd be lying if I said that wasn't tempting" he squeaked out in a totally manly way. "But as it happens you've been fucked up by a sex pollen and I have uM-!" He squirmed until Keith's hand dislodged itself from the back of his jeans, reaching around to swat it away and press his back more firmly to the leather seat. "As it happens, I have a particular problem with the uh, level of consent-yness involved here. I've never been the guy to fuck the drunk chick at the party and right now you're kind of all drugged up on alien sex pollen!"

" _Yeah_ ," Keith agreed in a sigh directly into Lance's ear. "Feels great, you're really missing out right now."

Lance shuddered again, closed his eyes, and prayed for strength from Jesus. "I bet it does!" He agreed quickly, trying to lean away out of his reach and not really succeeding in the least bit. "I mean it really must, considering a normal not-sex-high Keith would never be saying or doing anything like you're saying and doing right now," oh god Keith was so warm and heavy sitting on Lance's thigh, he could feel how hard Keith was because his dick was poking through the material of his thin stupid sexy pants to press right into Lance's hip, where Keith had - oh sweet jesus fuck, had started to rock his hips to _grind into Lance_ , because apparently he had decided he didn't even need Lance's participation to get himself off. Lance was shaking like an overloaded washing machine and when he spoke again his voice was distressed and high-pitched, a deflated balloon squeal of "WHICH BRINGS US BACK TO THAT CONSENT PROBLEM!"

"Oh, is that all?" Keith sounded almost disappointed, not bothering to stop the slow roll of his hips as he dismissed boredly, "You don't need to worry about that, I definitely want you even when I'm not like this. I just normally have like, self-control or whatever."

Lance blinked, accidentally relaxing enough for Keith to swoop in and bite at his neck. He moaned a little because _come on_ , he was only like, so strong as a man here. But he did still manage to ask, one hand hovering near the curve of Keith's back like it didn't know if it want to land there and hold him close or just grab him to pry him off, "W-wait, what? Come on, you don't actually wanna fuck me, Keith. This is just the… the sex pollen taking."

Keith snorted a short scoff against his neck, pulling back where he'd been sucking a hickey into the skin under Lance's jaw, his voice low and husky and barely loud enough to hear over Lance's outrageous heartbeat. "Oh please, you don't even _know_. The number of times I've jerked off imagining it was your mouth around my cock," Lance sucked in a gasp, and Keith's left hand snaked under the front of his shirt to stroke curious fingers across his abdomen. "...Or fingered myself thinking about your fucking me."

" _Oh my god_ ," Lance whimpered as his hands strained, fingers curling to dig into the leather seat of the sofa with one hand and the fabric of Keith's worn cotton tee shirt in the other.

Keith's voice was smiling even if Lance couldn't see his face, flirtatious and sultry and audibly horny as he crooned, "The number of time I've fantasized about going down on you, pulling out your cock just to finally see for myself what it looks like." His left hand had fallen back out of Lance's shirt but there was no time to be relieved by the loss, because instead it was dropping down to run over the seam of Lance's jeans to palm at the hard outline of Lance's erection and purr, "Feels pretty big from here. Can't wait to find out how it feels filling up my ass."

Lance's self control snapped with what could honestly be described as a growl, because you know who was only human here and had a sexy sexy Keith groping at his dick? This guy. There was only so much he could handle, okay?!

He twisted to steal Keith's mouth in a vicious kiss, tongue plunging in to taste his mouth while both hands found Keith's ass. Keith melted instantly, and when Lance stood up he went with him; wrapping thick legs around Lance's waist while he hoisted him into the air. He broke off the kiss to look Keith in the eye, growling out, "I am taking you to my room and I am fucking you until your throat gives out from screaming my name too loud."

"Fucking _finally_ ," Keith sighed, and then yelped a little when Lance slapped his ass once for the sass before taking off to get Keith to his room where he had a bed, a door lock, and some god damned lube to have themselves a NIGHT.


	5. Chapter 5

There was a lot of work to be done, and a lot of things he was behind on. Shiro was used to this, and really, he didn't mind as he preferred to keep himself busy anyway. It would just be nice if Keith and Lance also hd things to do is all, because then they would be out doing them and not in this room doing whatever the hell it was that they were doing.

Shiro didn't know, because Shiro was not going to look. He was going to look at this datasheet and not be distracted from it because they needed to figure out how much food they were going through now that they had this many people on board, and if they'd need to restock on supplies or they'd all be back to sucking on foodgoo like prisoners.

He was going to look at this and he was going to read this and he was not going to listen to the sound of Keith giggling, because Shiro was going to pretend that giggling was something he did now that he was married and not something totally weird. And _definitely_ not going to look, because Shiro had the feeling if Keith really was giggling and not just laughing or snickering or even chuckling, then it was definitely not at anything Shiro wanted to see or think about.

Except, what the fuck, they wouldn't _actually_ be doing that right now in the same room as him, right? Or… oh god, they absolutely would because they were monsters with no self restraint, and god damn it why did this have to be Shiro's life? Nope. Not gonna think about it. Gonna think about these vegetables. Or you know what there was this other thing he needed to do with the data the Blade of Marmora had sent them recently, that oe had time to wait but uh… It'd be easier to think about, right? Right. Right right right. Everything was fine and normal.

It was only when he realized a lapse of silence had fallen behind him that Shiro worried. Maybe they had left. Even though he hadn't heard footsteps. Or maybe they were being quiet because they had fallen asleep, or found something to read, or… Not gonna think about it. Not. His. Problem.

Shiro did hear footsteps, but they weren't from inside the room. It was the sound of someone walking towards the door, and Shiro finally gave up the urge to be distracted to look around at the door in time to see slide open.

And just in time, as it happened, to see the results of it sliding open. Because the second the door slid open to reveal Allura who was wasting no time in stepping inside, whatever ruler-like sheet of plastic someone had wedged into the tiny space between the top of the door and the frame around it dropped, and with it, the - dear lord. The bucket it had been supporting with its rigid tension, which fell onto Allura's head as she walked inside, soaking her in the water it had carried inside before bouncing harmlessly to the floor.

Keith and Lance burst out laughing so hard it sounded like they were gonna die. Allura did not look angry in the least bit, but she did look like she wished she had never met them nonetheless. "I do not have any idea," she said tiredly, "why you two would do that or why in star's name you think it's so funny to have done it."

Lance leaned up off of where he wa doubled over on the floor enough to point at her and shout, "We got you!" before bursting back into peals of laughter.

Keith, eyes watering and holding his stomach, managed the words "You're mildly inconvenienced!" in between his own laughs.

Allura's face scrunched up like she couldn't decide if she was worried for them or just annoyed. "Right," she decided flatly. "I'm going to dry off and not speak to you two for the rest of the day."

Shiro looked at the two fully adult newlywed morons laughing on the floor. Looked back at the pad in his hand. Screw it, he decided, tossing it onto the table. He wasn't gonna get stuck being the only responsible one around here again. Shiro was gonna spend the rest of is day playing minesweeper and steal the rest of that leftover pie.


End file.
